just another mr. rogers

does anyone else think i'm ignoring my kids here? its possible they haven't gotten the wordspace they deserve, but i'm assuming you know what the reality is so i dont have to always go into it. the reality is that they're not getting the cyber-attention because they get all my other attention in every other way. so maybe i'm reserving this space a little bit. like a date with myself where i dont have to think about it.

so what are we on day 3 of 18 or do i count the day he left i dont know... but the kids are so fine. my main objective in claiming victory over this time with them is twofold: stay out of the house for a fat slice of each day, and morph into a modern-day Fred Rogers.

I've been thinking about mister rogers the past couple of days. he was a bit creepy, a bit anal, a bit too mild-mannered, but he really had great sweaters. what i wouldn't give for one of those red zip-up cardigans right now you don't even know. i'm an avid cardiganologist.

mister rogers could take you in, oh yes he could. he could pull you slowly and gently into his world and make you believe you lived there in that little house. feel like you really were hanging up your sweater, switching your shoes, feeding the fish, taking the cheerful little trolley into the long dark tunnel arriving in the Land of Makebelieve. where the quirky drama happened.

the other way cool thing fred did was go on field trips. he'd go to the bakery and talk to the baker and see how the baker did his baking, or to the violin factory to see how the violins were made, or the candy factory, or wherever in his little special neighborhood fred wanted to explore and share. wherever he went, you went too. you and fred, you went together, wherever fred would go.

i'm trying a little too hard to be that side of fred rogers with my kids- a frantic julie mccoy field trip maker. thinking they need to be distracted from maybe being sad, i've been whizzing them all over, visiting and playing and camping, seeing dogs and pools and friends and libraries and bike rides and is it possible that even though i'm with elliot and phoebe alldayeveryday i miss my kids a little bit? i want them to love it here, with me, in our own little house with the pink kitchen and shady backyard and a daddy on the run and us.

tomorrow we'll have our own little Land of Makebelieve on clark street for one day. being here on our own but together. being sad if we want to be sad. it is a big deal.

its not new but i'm still making my way around this whole thing. i'm trying to figure out how to be their mama and even as much, how to be just another yoko.